Valentimes

So I’ve observed on my journey through life that Valentines day seems to be a pretty polarizing event in our culture.

To offset the love sick and lovestruck around us who throw themselves into Valentines Day like a 12 year old girl at a Bieber concert, we have a growing counter-Valentines Day movement who are not satisfied to simple ignore the day, but snarl and wish doom upon all who do. These, not coincidentally, are usually people who are not currently in a romantic relationship.

So it occurred to me that there are errors on each side of this issue which are to be avoided. Some in the first group are in love with being in love. The object of their affection has become so prominent in their lives as to actually become an object of worship. “Pish-Posh” say the lovestruck. “Nonsense. I’m in love and you’re just jealous.” If that’s true, then so be it. But examine what worship really is before you dismiss the notion.

When you worship something, you pronounce its worth. Same root word. Worship isn’t just bowing down and doing the “we’re not worthy” routine from Wayne’s World. Worship happens when something (or someone) takes such a prominent place in your heart and psyche that you can’t help thinking about it. Raving about it. Talking about it constantly. The object of your attention, or in this case – affection, becomes all consuming. The deep-sighing glassy eyed poets who emote so freely on Valentines Day are engaging in worship at its finest.

And this is not necessarily a bad thing. Just as it’s not a bad thing to be a rabid fan of a sports team, a certain movie or your favorite restaurant. Just as long as your “worship” (obsession over) that thing doesn’t trump or threaten your worship of the only one who is TRULY worthy. Get it? These lesser things – including your love interest – are gifts. Good things, to be received enthusiastically and appreciated for all their great merits and worth. But received and appreciated as gifts from He who is the giver of all good things.

When we worship the gifts, we miss the Giver.

And that’s bad.

The other mistake we make on 2/14 is to be angry about the fact that we are not currently in possession of the gift of a romantic relationship. Those of us who are recently on the working end of a bad breakup get a mulligan on this one. Pick up a Whitmans’ Sampler tomorrow when they’re on sale for 1/2 price and enjoy yourself.

But for you who are just plain bitter or angry because you’re alone at the moment, listen up. Your singleness is a gift.

Yeah, I know. It feels more like a curse. But check out 1 Corinthians 7:7 – “…but God gives to some the gift of marriage, and to others the gift of singleness.”

That’s right. The gift of singleness.

Wow. Great. Couldn’t God give this “gift” to someone else?

Yeah, he could. But he hasn’t. He gave it to you, for this season of your life. Maybe not forever. In fact, probably not. Statistically speaking, there are some who stay single for life, but the vast majority find someone. But that’s not actually the point.

The point is that for this season – right now, you’re single and that’s a gift. You can focus your time, your energy and your resources on whatever’s ahead of you. Right now, you’re free. You may not want to be, but you are. And that experience, like most experiences, will be determined greatly by your attitude towards it. You have something to say about how you move through this season. It can be marked by moping and complaining, or by joy and preparation.

Paul continues his thought in verse 32 -

32 I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him. 33 But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. 34 His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible.

It’s up to you. This season doesn’t have to be one of agony and loneliness. It can be filled with joy, fullness and undivided love for the God who made you.

Choose wisely.

And don’t forget what I said about that Whitmans’ Sampler. That’s a good idea either way.