Hey faithful readers, sorry for the week off there. Things got a bit out of hand, I guess.

Anyway, the Thirsty conference has come and gone, the Rangers were defeated by Buffalo, the Knicks never made it to the playoffs at all, and the Yankees have re-signed Roger Clemens. Wow.

Tonight, I’m a bit more pensive than usual. I’m alone in the house – at least in the downstairs portion. My kids are all upstairs asleep. And where’s my loving wife this evening? She’s out enjoying her birthday present: a night and day away from our children, at Six Flags Great Adventure with a good friend. Nice, right? Yeah. I’m the man. Call it payback for me always leaving her home when I travel.

So tonight I was on my own with the three savages and it’s really made me think about how blessed I am. Jen’s always home when the kids go to sleep so we’re usually tucking them in together. Tonight I prayed for each one of them, looked them in the eyes and smiled at them and told them I loved them, kissed them on the head and turned out the lights. I walked past their rooms again just now – three little bodies breathing heavily in three little beds. I guess I should be past this by now, but sometimes it still blows my mind that I’m a dad.

I walk in the house and these two little blonde monsters run over and attach themselves to my leg and all of a sudden all my troubles take a vacation. Timmy gives me one of those goofy toothless grins and instantly I’m the man I want to be. Other times I have to beat back those times of trouble with a bat so I can focus on my familiy without being one of those distracted dads that only pays half attention. And still other times, I fail altogether and they see my sinful nature rear it’s head and I’m crushed by guilt and worried that they’ll learn how to be a jerk by watching me.

All in all though, this whole family thing is amazing. A huge challenge and a great responsibility, but really really a cool thing.

We’ve been talking about family stuff at True North these last couple of weeks – at least in the morning services. This past week’s message yielded a lot of really good feedback, and I’m getting the idea that families really appreciated the straight talk on sex and being servants to one another.

A small addendum to this past Sunday’s message for any to whom this might be helpful – if I was describing you on Sunday when I talked about supplementing your marital sex life with an extramarital one via the computer, maybe this little piece of software might be of help to you.

It’s called X3 Watch. I run it on my laptop and home computers and so does Pastor Mike and a lot of other guys in ministry. It’s a small application that runs in the background of your computer (don’t worry, doesn’t slow it down at all), which monitors the sites you visit. You choose 2 accountability partners and type in their email addresses. If you visit a questionable site, your partner gets an email. Your partner also gets an email if you somehow disable or uninstall the program, so once you set it up, it’s a really great tool for accountability.

I’ve got a whole network of guys that are using this software and I gotta tell you, it’s awesome to know that there are people who will keep me accountable if I screw up.

The software is free. Click here. Install it today ya’ll.

It is clearly The Right Thing.

And I’m out.

ps – Pastor Mike’s ordination is this Saturday at 11 at the church. Being there is the Right Thing.

pps – Looking for some more in-depth help with a pornography problem? Check out the makers of the X3 software at www.xxxchurch.com

Well my friends, the conference has begun and we had a great day. Lots of good food, great teaching, and many laughs.

The activity and main photo-op for today was a game called ‘Suicide.’ We used to call it something else in Jr. High, which I can’t repeat here.

It’s a variation on handball where a series of errors can put you up against a wall while your enemies take aim at your posterior regions with the aforementioned sphere. This, of course can lead to some pretty nasty welts.

Hilarity ensued as usual. Photo evidence to follow.

Hey Everypeoples,

Day one at the Thirsty Conference. It actually doesn’t start ’til tomorrow, but we got down here a day early so we could settle in, go to 7:22 and eat some extra Fuddruckers.

More to follow on the content and the craziness.

For now though, a small list of some of the Brad Zarzana’s best one-liners from the day:

“What’s this sick, twisted ride about Wonka?” – spoken after finding that putting his airline tray table down was an anatomical impossibility.

Matt Rullo: “Are you good with Mac’s?”
Brad: “Yeah. Big Macs”

“Hey Matt (Rullo), what are those stings coming out from the bottom of your shorts? Oh, those are your legs.”

Matt Rullo (at Fuddruckers): “I don’t eat red meat.”
Brad: “Oh. How do you play drums with that skirt on?”

Peace.

Bert

PS – The Rangers tied up their series 2-2 with the Sabres! Praise the Lord!

Well my friends,

It was a hairy couple of weeks, but I am still breathing. Getting back into a bit of a groove here, and there have even been a couple of rare sightings of me at the gym.

Tonight though, I brood. I am brooding. Brood-o-rama going on right here.

I’m tired, I’m home for the night and I’m juuuuuust getting ready to sit down and check out the first game of the Rangers vs. Sabres playoff series, and I find that the only network covering it is some obscure little redneck, podunk, wanna-be, transmitting-from-a-double-wide-with-tinfoil-rabbit-ears outfit called ‘Versus.’

Direct TV doesn’t carry the ‘Versus’ network.

I have Direct TV.

So, I brood.

Why, you ask, don’t I just jump in the car and go to someone’s house who has cable instead of satellite?

Simple. I’m too busy finding legal counsel to represent me in a class action lawsuit against Direct TV and MSG. I have suffered severe emotional trauma as a result of not being able to see the game.

When this whole thing is over, I’m going to OWN Madison Square Garden. Yeah. OWN it. Me. It’ll be all mine. Who wants tickets?

{Long Sigh} Somebody tell me how the game went, ok?

And next week, look for some posts from the Thirsty conference in Atlanta. Should be good time.

Peace,

Bert