This Sunday at church, my message was based on Psalm 119. In it, I talked about the concept of Christian Hedonism and how we’ve all had a moment when we look ourselves in the mirror and ask “Why do I keep DOING this to myself?!”

Why do keep repeating these mistakes? Why do I keep ending up in these awful relationships and situations? Why, when I know that God is the most satisfying thing in all of heaven and earth…. When I know that I’ll only ever be satisfied in Him…. do I constantly look to these other things to fill my life?

Ours is the plight of the addict. Just ask someone with an addiction why they keep making the same choices. The answers are mysterious. There’s a disconnect between what we want and what we actually do.

This Sunday I read aloud from a letter I received from a young woman attending our church. She’s had a tough time of it these last couple years as she’s battled heroin addiction. I don’t know from experience but I hear it’s one of the hardest addictions to kick. You can approach a heroin addict pre-recovery, and present them with two options: One the one hand, you can have all the good things you want in life – a career, romance, a family, your health… all of it. Or, on the other hard, you can have heroin. Time after time, it’ll be option A which they SAY they want but it’ll be the heroin they actually reach for. And the same is true for any addiction. Be it alcohol, food, another drug, pornography… pick your poison.

We are all of us at some point in our lives, addicts. We all resonate with the Apostle Paul when he said:

“I want to do what is right, but I can’t. I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it. I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord.” Romans 7:18-25

Were you able to follow that? Paul is, in my opinion, playing with words here to illustrate how crazy this all is. How utterly sad it is that we all zig when we mean to zag.

So how about you? Where does that leave you today?

Imperfect. Conflicted. Having good days and bad. And that’s true for all of us.

On our good days, we are satisfied in Him and everything else that we are blessed with is just extra. And on our bad days, we’re sure He’s abandoned us and we’re on our own to survive.

Today, remember the prayer of Ezra in Psalm 119:8 – “Please don’t give up on me.”

Remember that He never does.

Caught this version of Enter Sandman by Metallica on Youtube the other day.

Somehow, if it’s possible, this version rocks EVEN HARDER than the original!!

Enjoy.

I was woken up this morning at around 4:15 by the sound of my daughter gently crying as she entering my bedroom. She’s basically been in the pool non-stop since school got out and her dedication has yielded a painful case of swimmer’s ear.

A couple of children’s Tylenol and a quick prayer got her settled back down, but I had an unusually hard time falling back asleep. It could have been that I was thirsty, or that my back was sore, or that I was hot and feeling angry at myself for not pushing my wife harder on using the A/C instead of the window fan last night. Either way, I was up.

When I was just getting started in ministry, one of my mentors prayed for me and said “Lord, if Bert ever wakes up during the night, remind him that it’s You, calling him to pray.” It’s pretty rare for me to wake up during the night. I normally sleep like a brick. But on those rare occasions when it does happen, I often remember the words of my friend. So I quit fighting it and came downstairs.

By this time, it was about 4:35 and the sky was starting to fade from black to blue. I pondered the tranquilizing effects of a TV show or a book but instead chose to head to the backyard to watch the sun come up. As it turns out, I chose wisely.

The birds were putting on a concert. Many would have said that they were making a racket and on a different morning, I probably would have agreed. But this morning, to me, they were singing to the Lord. And although I spared my neighbors the sound of me singing out loud at that hour, I joined in with those birds in my heart.

Man, I just re-read that last sentence and it sounded really cheesy. But I’m deciding not to delete it because it’s true.

I prayed for a good hour this morning while dawn broke. It’s been way too long since I’ve done that. It reminded me that while we seem to live and die by the calendar and the clock, real life is not measured in seconds and hours – it’s measured in memories and experiences.

I won’t soon forget this morning. And I hope you won’t either, even if you slept though most of it. You have opportunities right now to make memories and have experiences which will someday be the mark of a life well lived.

So from now on, if you wake up at night – pray. If the birds are singing – join them. And remember that when you come to the end of your life, the memories and experiences you treasure most will not involve your Blackberry, your iPhone or your inbox.

Choose wisely.

So there’s this new church plant happening in Port St. Lucie, Florida this year. It’s called Exponential (great name!) and the Lead Pastor is Christian Gaffney. He will be accompanied on this odyssey by one of our Long Island homeboys – Mike Zizolfo. Both are currently serving on staff at Fair Oaks Church in Fairfax, VA.

These guys are going to hit the ball HARD. We were privileged to spend some time with them last week talking about the ups and downs of church planting and from now on, part of True North’s monthly tithe is going to go to support their work. Our staff is predicting huge things for the city of Port St. Lucie and the surrounding area. I can’t wait to see these guys get their doors open and run.

They posted this video on their blog, which really encouraged me. Hope you enjoy it.

Expo Trip to NY from Exponential Church on Vimeo.